As women in this fast-paced modern day world, we should focus on trying to figure out how to manage our self-care. With so many people and things to take care of, being good to ourselves can fall to the bottom of our list of priorities. Yet, fulfilling our needs and cultivating self-love is important, because it influences our image at work, the partners we pick, and how we deal with life’s stressors.

Have you ever heard the advice “You have to love yourself before you can love someone else”? Well, this cliche piece of advice is partly true, as you learn to love from engaging with others and being loved. When you love yourself, you can have compassion and truly teach those around you how to love you.

Self-love isn’t something you can buy at the store or order at the spa. It isn’t just a state of feeling good on the outside. It is intimacy that you cultivate within yourself. Here is a simple 3-step approach to fearless self-love.

Step 1. Practice Self-Care

There is a tremendous power is choosing to prioritize taking care of your needs, as it is the basic form of showing yourself that you matter and are worth loving. Fearless self-care isn’t all glitz and glam. Sometimes it is letting go, doing the thing you’d never want to do, or even giving up. Mostly, it is saying “yes” to all of the things that will help you achieve your goals in the areas that matter most such as your health, finances, career, and relationships. Self-love is a lifestyle in which you consistently do whatever it takes to move forward in the direction of your dream.

Step 2. Embrace Imperfection

When you practice self-love, you make room for imperfection. While you should always be accountable for your actions, you accept the fact that you are human and flawed. Taking responsibility for your actions in life doesn’t equate to punishing yourself when you make a mistake. Forgive yourself and show yourself the same compassion you would to a friend. When you have self-love, you expect to make mistakes and use them as opportunities to grow. As a result, it is easier for you to pick yourself up when you’ve been knocked down.

Step 3. Saying No is your best friend.

When you start saying “yes” to the things that are good for yourself, you have to start saying “no” to those that do not serve you. You’re the leader of your life, and you have full permission to say no to activities, work, and invitations that deplete you emotionally, physically and spiritually. When you do things that don’t feel right to you, the message you and others receive is that your needs don’t matter. When you choose to invest your time doing what lights you up, magic happens.

Thus, fearless-self love takes effort. Planning, and compassion. Sometimes, doing what is best for you involves disappointing others. But if you can rock at your own self-care and accept that you’ll make mistakes along the way, you will find that it's totally worth it.